Mustn't Let Him Win
by I'mapsychopathI'mnotrude1997
Summary: This was inspired by Emily telling Julia that she needs to tell William, she takes the advice and tells him. From then on it just gets harder. Jilliam and T to be safe! Please read; the story is better than the summary.


**Hey! Good to be back writing for Murdoch Mysteries I have missed writing for it so much... I liked the idea of what Emily told Julia at the end so I decided to elaborate on it. Enjoy! :) **

**Mustn't let him win**

I look to Emily, she is quieting patiently for me to say something. "I cannot let Gillies win!" I say finally with a sigh.

"If you don't tell Detective Murdoch he has won." Emily responds.

I think about this all the way home, all I can think about are Emily's words. "He has won." Has he? This is what he wanted me to do so... yes he has won by me doing what he wants. I fell right into his hands! I have been so stupid!

It's decided then... I will have to tell him.

"Will this ever be over?" I ask aloud to Emily, who smiles sadly.

"So you're going to tell him?" I nod.

"I honestly can't think about anything else to do. If he finds out any other way other than from me... I don't want that to happen." I say, I don't want to think about what would happen if he found out from someone else. She mutters an "I understand," And carries on looking out of the carriage.

I don't know how to go about this, I am most likely the last person William wants to see at this moment in time. But I have to so I go to the station house, I hope he is alone but he is talking to the inspector so I decide to wait in his office, I have my back turned toward the door so I don't see him approach then I hear the door click shut. I turn around and see his hat and coat gone. "I really have hurt him, he doesn't even want to speak to me..."

I try to leave unnoticed, however, luck isn't on my side. "Doctor," The Inspector grumbles, "what do I owe this _pleasure_." Great he's annoyed too.

"I was looking for William!" I catch the look he gives me when I say William. "Do you know where he is?" No reply. "Please, it's important."

"How important..?"

"Very." I don't hesitate and I express the word and he instructs me to go into the office.

* * *

"You're sure?" He asks me with a shaking hand which was holding a glass of scotch, I push away the glass he offered me. I have had enough alcohol this weekend.

"As sure as I am Ruby is my sister; no one else would do this. Why would they?" I ask and the inspector frowns.

"There are some psychos out there Doctor Ogden." I nod knowing his words.

"We really need William before we come up with a plan." I say. "I can't keep anything from him anymore, it's hurting me and it's hurting him."

"Yes, yes it is." He's not really helping right now...

"I know." I sigh and he turns to me.

"Go home and get the letter he sent you, me and Murdoch will meet you in the interview room, _no-one _should be able to get into there."

"Gillies isn't just anyone!" I say standing up, just before I will I ask. "How can you be sure he'll listen to me?"

"I won't tell him, I'll just say he's interviewing someone," he says sadly; but he's right. William doesn't want to talk to me right now...

"You're right, it's for the best. Thank you." He nods and I leave.

I approach the interview room clutching the brown envelop. I really am scared about what is going to happen, and what will follow. What if William is mad for me not telling him?

"Gentlemen," I say as I enter the room, tears well up in my eyes as I see the pain in William's expression. "I'm sorry." I know sorry won't make the pain go away but I didn't know what else to say.

The Inspector goes to stand up. He's leaving? "No please." I say and William looks confused. Brilliant Julia, well done now he thinks you don't want to be alone with him!

"I'm just going to make sure... no one turns up." He says looking to me and I nod understanding his actions.

"Why?" William asks, "is someone threatening you?" My heart breaks at the look of pain.

"It's all in here." I say and push the file to him. The look of confusion reaches his face again then turns back to panic.

"Julia..." He says looking at me.

"I'm sorry... I should have told you sooner but... I-I was scared that something would happen and-and..." I could hear myself stammering but I couldn't stop the words were just coming out. "I'm sorry William, I am so sorry and-and I-I didn't mean to hurt you... I-I just wanted you safe!"

William stands up and walks over to me, I have my head in my hands. He hugs me close and I let the tears fall and I clutch his arm as if my life depended on it.

After about five minute I calm down and look to William. "What now?"

"We have to draw him into the open." William says – is he mad?

"Pardon?" I ask and he looks down at me. "You cannot be serious?!"

"I am quite serious. I think we need to get him into the open and draw him out so we can get this man once and for all." William says and I shake my head.

"I don't think that is a good idea... he's dangerous."

"I have the upper hand Julia," he tries to convince me. But how does he have the upper hand... this is Gillies we're talking about; he is the most dangerous man I have met!

"And what exactly is the _upper hand_?" I ask William and I didn't want it to come out as harsh as it did. "Please William, he will have guns, he could kill you a distance if he wanted."

I doubt that he would ever use guns he likes to do things in person but it wouldn't surprise me he used it to gain the upper hand once more.

"And we have lost the upper hand by him not finding out that I've told you!" I argue. "The only way to gain his attention is to get engaged and that just puts us in too much danger!"

I realise then that I shouldn't have mentioned that. "No, I refuse to do that!" I state boldly.

"It will get it in the open and will draw him out, he would never use guns, he likes to be proud about his work." He has a point but it's dangerous.

"What if it doesn't work and one of us ends up dead?" I ask in a shaky voice.

"I honestly think it might work Julia." I don't want to hear _might_ I want to hear it will!

"No, I'm not letting you risk your life, there has to be somewhere he's gone wrong." I say trying to convince him. "Be a policeman and figure out his mistake, I don't want to lose you. Not again."

"What if we never find him?"

"You're clever, and yes he's clever, but you're better." I smile at him and he nods knowing what he has to do.

**AN so... yeah I'm leaving it here. I hope you liked it, this is my second Murdoch Mysteries fic – first being look after her Murdoch – so I hope it's alright! **

**I hope to have the next chapter soon!**


End file.
